Every year, responsible adults would wag their fingers at me, telling me I had better max you out. And I would nod my head in mock agreement, while my thoughts drifted elsewhere...
When I finally checked on you, you had grown bloated with neglect. I was filled with a mixture of shame and regret. Yes, I knew all along that you offer a shelter for my taxable income. I knew that I would receive refunds on my current earnings, and also pay less tax in future when cashing you out at a lower income. I knew that you were one of the best ways for my savings to grow.
And yet, I was so immature. I could not appreciate your exemplary qualities.
As a gesture of goodwill between us, I have just contributed $1,000 to you. Another $1,000 is forthcoming next weekend, prior your deadline of March 1st.
I know we haven't celebrated it before, but maybe I could take you somewhere nice for this upcoming anniversary? Maybe down to the financial district for dinner and a tour of the Toronto Stock Exchange? Perhaps that would be too much excitement for you. I know how you feel about short-term, volatile investments.
Regardless, I can tell you this: you are about to experience a change of pace. Pack a bag and a swimsuit, because a little jaunt to to the Isle of Index Funds is in your future. And don't worry; with my love and care, you will drop that $39,000 of bloat and be back to your slim and trim self in no time. (It's really just water weight.) And in the meantime, you're perfect just as you are. I mean that. I really feel this is the start of something amazing.
Sincerely,
Melissa
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