Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What I thought I wanted

Well, well, what a week. A lot has happened. And when you have a shake-up like this, it can cause you to rethink your priorities.

Specifically, I've been thinking about whether I might actually want more money. Not that I don't want to save (no way am I giving up on that) but perhaps I don't want to live quite as frugally as I'd thought.  Having and doing nice things can be fun. It's certainly not important, but it's a dimension of life that, if it's in your grasp, why wouldn't you want to at least try for it?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm opening my mind to new possibilities. Perhaps I've been too strict in my anti-materialism. Maybe I do want nicer clothes or a car (actually, I'd take a nicer violin over a car any day). I know I'm not a fundamentally materialistic person, but I think I want to have a family. And how would I want to raise a family? Would I want to send them to public school or private? Where would we live? It doesn't have to be complicated at all, and there are no set standards in my mind except for loving your kids and your partner and being there for them to the best of your abilities. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with trying to raise the bar to make yourselves more comfortable in life. Provided, of course, that the means don't thwart the ends.

That said, I have some issues with capitalism. And even bigger issues with materialism. The idea of a lifestyle where you need millions to retire - and there are many people who feel this way - is a bit scary to me. Of course, so is the idea of this (and coincidentally, probably my favourite TV show of all time).

Anyway, if you haven't guessed by now, I met someone. His financial goals and cultural background are quite different from mine. I haven't shown him this blog yet (should I? I'm a little scared). I think we both might have something to teach each other; I sense we're both re-evaluating some of our ideas now that we've met.

What he has taught me so far is that you can think you want something, and then realize that what you really wanted is something else entirely. And that's just in the short time I've known him. I have also sampled some truly kick-a** Chinese food. ;)

When you're first meeting someone, do finances come up right away? Are you freaked out if it seems like a scenario between the Capulets and the Montagues - or are you curious?

I think I'm curious and so is he. :)


  1. When I started dating BF, we were financial opposites. I was freshly out of debt and frugal beyond belief. He was a free spender who didn't have a penny saved.

    At first, I thought that one of us would have to change, in order to mesh together properly. But I don't think it's about one person changing for the other person, or having to give up how you feel about money. It's about compromise.

    With BF, over time, I've found that we have both come to a really great middle ground. I've relaxed in my frugalness, and he has definitely come a long way to realizing that saving money is important. But even with my more relaxed approach towards money, I still feel that I'm accomplishing my financial goals of saving as much as I need to feel comfortable.

  2. Krystal - that's really reassuring to hear, thanks!!!